The Emancipation of @Adobomochi
By Mikael Rizada Borres
Two extremities present themselves when one scrolls through the social media pages of Shane, also known on the internet as the online influencer Adobomochi.
In several of Shane’s TikTok videos, he’s dancing to NewJean’s “Hype Boy.” From the kitchen at the back of the restaurant he calls his workplace to the foreshore of Sydney Harbour, there seems to be no place unfit for what he calls “hypeboyification.” There is no clear definition of what “hypeboyification” is, so one can take the term whatever they want it to be.
Then, in a few videos posted on Shane’s Twitter account, he’s showing his penis, or at least hints of his penis. From the privacy of a purple-coloured changing room to the comforts of his Melbourne bedroom, there seems to be no place unfit for documented self-gratification. Granted, he creates adult content for his OnlyFans page, so there may be an incentive for him to act risque to promote his explicit work.
Cute K-Pop dances and penises don’t have to be mutually exclusive, but the juxtaposition of the two does make one pause and wonder whether the two should be mutually exclusive. It’s not that no one can be both sexual and adorable, but Shane’s social media displays the two as if they are antithetical to each other.
However, Shane's social media activity may actually be demonstrating that the two extremities can co-exist within one person. He told me that without one or the other, he would not be a complete version of himself.
“If my friendliness is not there, I wouldn’t be Shane. If my sluttiness is not there, I guess there’s no Shane. And, I guess, if my silliness or my goofiness is not there, then, basically, that’s not Shane.”
All these attributes exist as parts of Shane, but he and those who know him may or may not realize that such attributes can exist because Shane holds onto one promise he subconsciously made to himself: the commitment to be free.
It Started With The CDs In A Wardrobe
When Shane was younger, he and his cousin discovered pirated CDs with topless women on the casing’s cover in his grandparents' wardrobe. They played the CD, which turned out to contain porn. “When, I guess, opened my eyes, I was just like, ‘Fuck, what is this?’” said Shane when describing his confusion at the time.
But that was enough to spark his curiosity. Later on, when Shane was eight or nine years old, he watched gay porn for the first time on his mother’s laptop. Back then, he didn’t know how to delete his search history; his mother found out about the gay porn browsing he did on her laptop. “My mom only told me about this very recently that she would open up [the laptop] and see all these unclosed tabs.”
These moments became the onset of Shane’s eventual realization that he was gay – and that realization came with an uncomfortable dilemma. With his sexuality at odds with his mother's and stepfather’s Seventh-day Adventism, he had to conceal his truth.
“I was very ‘straight’ at home, I would say,” said Shane. “I would hide anything that had to do with homosexuality.”
When talking about his teenage life with his parents, he called himself “'Straight Shane.” Straight Shane didn’t wear make-up at home; he didn’t dance at home; he didn’t talk about anything gay at home; he didn’t do anything gay at home.
That didn’t stop Shane from having boyfriends and acting like himself outside his home, but he held them like secrets from his parents, always feeling “paranoid” about the possibility of them finding out about that side of him.
And in a more general view of Shane, he had to hide his sexuality to seem like he kept himself within the bounds set by his parents. Shane often pondered about the amusement and thrill he would have relished instead of having to constantly adhere to what his parents’ religiosity summons him to do.
“So every Saturday, when my friends were all out, I’d be at home not doing anything, just sitting at home,” Shane recalled, “and I’d always be jealous, basically.
“And from that point on, I was just like, ‘Oh, I can’t wait to just leave home and enjoy my Friday nights and my Saturdays.”
Shane’s yearning for autonomy resulted in a dream to leave home after he finishes college to “do whatever” he wants and pleases and “just enjoy the world,” or at least enjoy his Friday nights and his Saturdays on his own terms.
His stepfather attempted to bury those thoughts by becoming an alarmist about the deviances and vices that could tempt his stepson. He warned Shane about how dangerous the world is and how Shane might become a victim of the dangerous world, casting fear of Shane becoming addicted to drugs and his friends fading away in the end even when they’re having fun with him during the happy-go-lucky moments of the present.
The fear-mongering and faith-based prejudice “forced” Shane to leave home at the age of 19, after finishing his first year of university.
“‘How am I going to figure out the world if you [Shane’s parents] are not gonna let me do these things?” Shane thought to himself when still living with his parents.
Oh, Father
Shane pays a premium to live on his own. He pays his own bills; he pays his own rent; he pays for his own home. Anything he wants and needs now, he has to foot the bill himself.
Yes, one part of why Shane is an OnlyFans creator is that he’s confident in the way he looks and is willing to share it with the world. But it does help a great deal that his physique, attractiveness, and “sluttiness” can be another means to a financial end, aside from his main work as a restaurant kitchen staff member.
Shane’s got his mind on his money and his money on his mind. “I mean, money makes people happy, you know? I believe that,” he opined, “and I need money to be able to enjoy a lot of these things and to provide for myself [...] I do think about how I can earn more money.”
But he doesn’t seem to regret his choice to move away from the comfortable situation his parents gave him. For Shane, if working hard is the price he pays to sport the clothes he wants to wear, dance to music and watch the videos he wants to play, and talk about the things he wants to talk about, he’s up for it. The fee to be free is high, but to Shane, it’s worth every penny.
The independence didn’t make Shane spiral into a drug-addicted fiend with fly-by friends, and at some juncture, he wants to convey that to his stepfather. The stepfather would probably protest Shane’s sexually suggestive – if not pornographic – public persona, but Shane’s stepfather should know that the dangerous world he cautioned about would be the one where his stepson is blooming right now. He may realize that his stepson is stronger than expected.
“If I could talk to him, I would say that everything he said is wrong. I have a pretty stable job, I have a good set of friends. I’m basically just thriving in life,” Shane would say to his father if given a chance.
Ever since Shane left home two years ago, he hasn’t spoken to his stepfather, and it’s a hapless situation Shane doesn’t necessarily want to exist. He doesn’t hold any grudges or anger against his stepfather at all. “I recently greeted him for his birthday last month [December 2022], and he hasn’t responded to it,” said Shane. “I don’t expect a response from it, but just, you know, I’m getting it out there that, at least, I remember you. I’m still here.”
But that moment of reaching out, alongside the lack of any grudge or anger that is present within him, doesn’t seem to be enough for Shane to make major efforts to mend their connection. “So I’m open to rekindling the relationship, but at this point, I’m not really trying the hardest to do that because I’m not the type to do that,” he said. “If he wants to talk, I will talk. If I would want to talk, then I would talk to him. But I would not force it if it doesn’t really happen.”
People Watching
Perhaps Shane’s stepfather misunderstands his stepson’s desire for liberty. Perhaps his stepfather, like some people who may come across the Adobomochi content, may perceive the free-spirited Shane as an attention-seeking personality who uses his freedom in the heat of the moment for the benefit of his ego and his name.
In some tweets or messages, Shane gets asked whether he is “Filipino fishing,” a term used to describe non-Filipinos trying to appear Filipino (like speaking Filipino or bringing up Filipino pop culture references) for influence. People would message Shane – who grew up in Mindoro – on a few Instagram live sessions to speak Tagalog to compel him to prove that he is, in fact, Filipino.
“‘Marunong ko mag-Tagalog. Sino ba niloloko ko dito [I know how to speak Tagalog. Who am I fooling here]?” he would think to himself when answering that kind of question.
He doesn’t completely deny the suggestions that he was Filipino fishing though. “In a sense, I kind of did. I honestly would say. I mean, I’m a ‘social media influencer,’ so I would try to influence as many people as I can. But Filipino fishing is kind of a far way to describe what I do.
“‘Oh, Adobomochi is Filipino fishing. Why do you say ‘Adobo’? Do you even like adobo?’” Shane recalled when asked about some of the questions he got online. “Maybe they didn’t think I was actually Filipino, that I’m just using the language to get clout, or basically coverage in Philippine Twitter.”
Shane figures that the through some people tweet about are sometimes just noise meant to stir the pot. That kind of commentary neither bothers him nor makes him care to ponder that deeply about what he puts out into the world. He suggested that if he was that troubled by that narrative being included in the conversation about him, he could dispel it by putting the facts on the record.
“I can show them my passport; I still have a Philippine passport. I have a birth certificate; I was born in the Philippines. I lived in the Philippines for quite a while.”
But he doesn’t feel inclined to stamp out the peanut gallery’s commentary. From the start of his social media influencer career, he understood that misconceptions, assumptions, and oversimplified characterizations dictate online and offline discourse. On the chance when he does look through what people are saying about him on social media, he just “laughs about them” and brushes them off.
“On the internet, people say a bunch of random things, even if they don’t know you that well. They just say whatever. For me, I try just not to give a shit about it, basically, because at the end of the day, we’re all just words on the internet. Like, I can say whatever I can do to defend myself. But at the end of the day, I’m my own person and they can’t really do much aside from say stuff on the internet.”
“I don’t wanna give a concrete idea of ‘This is what Adobomochi is portraying online.’ [...] I just want to express myself freely on the internet. Whatever I want to post, I will post. If I feel like posting something cute today, and two hours later, I post something sexy, who’s there to stop me?”
Does Your Mother Know
There is a big crowd who watches Shane both online and offline, and there are three main groups that comprise that crowd. The biggest contingent would be the social media “oomfs” (‘one of my followers’) who only know Shane through content that may show a lot of Shane, in a sense, but doesn’t tell a lot about the entirety of Shane as a human with a meaningful life. Of course, the people whose tight-ass moral convictions intercept any opportunity for them to become acquainted and grasp the concept of Adobomochi and the beingness of Shane will be there to jeer him on.
The smallest and the most vital of the three groups are those who see Shane in a more up close and personal view. One of those who get to see him in that view would be his mother, whose relationship with Shane is one that he can “cherish.”
It was never really a secret to Shane’s mother that her son was gay. “Honestly, alam ko naman na alam nila ever since [I know that my family already knew ever since]. There’s no doubt about it. But it’s just one of those… I don’t know… Filipino culture things that ayaw nila na maging bading ang anak nila [they didn’t want their child to be gay]. ‘Cause, you know, ‘it’s a disgrace to the family’ and stuff like that.
“Cause I know she’s known it for a long, long time ago because I think I made it pretty obvious back then,” said Shane, who then recounted how his mother remembered him being “pretty depressed for a month” after breaking up with a boyfriend. “I was like, ‘Oh, shit. Was I really?’”
But his mother never led on in an apparent way that she knew; he surmises she – like many members of his extended family – was in denial, perishing any thought that his son could be gay. “Maybe they just wanted to brush it off, and maybe thought, ‘Oh, he’ll change eventually anyway, so why would we care?’”
But their relationship came full circle. From Shane’s mother discovering his pornographic rabbit hole, to her already knowing early on about his true identity, to Shane moving out of his parents' houses (leaving him and his mother at a disconnection for some time), to recently rekindling after two years of little communication and forging what is the strong iteration of their bond yet. “My mom and I are now in the best possible situation,” Shane expressed. “I’ve only opened up to her about sexuality and stuff like that.”
Not everything about Shane has been revealed to his mother – as he has yet to reveal to her that he is an adult content creator (He assumes that she’d get “very upset” if she finds out. Perhaps this article will be how she gets to know) – but nowadays, both Shane and his mother get to relish in a connection Shane would describe as something akin to a bond between brother and sister. They are at a point where there are a few secrets and reservations they are unwilling to share with one another. Nowadays, both Shane and his mother get to relish in a connection Shane would describe as something akin to a bond between brother and sister; she tells her about what she thought of her son in his teenage years, and he spoils her with Filipino food and asks her about what she thinks about the people he dated in the past.
But most importantly, what makes their bond strong is that his mother understands her son and accepts the true, albeit not all, attributes he possesses. “As of now, it’s pretty great because she’s very supportive and she knows that I’m doing what is making me happy, and she supports basically all the stuff I’m doing… that she knows of!
“And she just wants me to be happy.”
Shane and Mikael conducted a Zoom interview on Sunday, January 1, 2023.
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