Kheena Thrisia Ligas: In Three Acts

By Mikael Rizada-Borres

There is no point in you defining yourself. Doing so makes you either look annoying, arrogant, or aloof. Maybe it is possible to describe yourself in a way that does not exude obnoxiousness, but it is a social tightrope act to not brag about yourself like you own the world and to not drag yourself down like you are getting owned by the world.

A more meaningful way to define yourself without going through the balancing is to understand what your friends think about you. Of course, your friends are biased for your benefit, but they are the ones who know you the best. In many cases, your friends can tell you things about yourself that you were not even aware of.

To exemplify my theory, I invited Kheena and her friends for a conversation about their close relationship.  Aside from Kheena, I interviewed five of her confidantes within one of her most vital friend groups — Nadine, Rollo, Niña, Corrine, and Deni — and they all defined who Kheena is through the stories they shared with me.

Act One: Kheena, The Starter

The friend group began back when its members were in junior high school. “I’m notorious for sleeping during English classes back in Grade 9 because Beowulf just bores me a lot,” Kheena told me. Nadine concurred with Kheena by putting her thumbs up to signify her agreement. “Every time na naa nay ipa-answer ang teacher na worksheet sa English, makamata na ku,” Kheena continued. “Unya, wa man sad ko kaibao sa answer. What I did was ask Nadine and Niña.”

(Every time there was a worksheet that the English teacher would have the class answer, I would wake up. I wouldn’t know the answer. What I did was ask Nadine and Niña.)

“And I think there was this one specific time when Nadine was sleeping. And then I just woke her up because I was curious what her name was. So I told Niña to wake Nadine up,” hoping that she could get an answer to her question. “Inana ko na wa’y buot [That’s how immature I am],” Kheena joked. That started a three-person group: Kheena,  Niña, and Nadine; it sustained itself through that year since all three girls sat beside each other in that English class.

In the same grade year, Kheena nominated Rollo — who Kheena described as an outgoing spirit whose skill to “catch anyone’s attention” can enamour those around him — as their class’ Public Information Officer (PIO). Kheena already knew Niña in Grade 7, but their connection blossomed two years later through the English class.

Kheena’s separate relationships with Nadine, Rollo, and Niña eventually merged into what they now consider to be the core part of their friendship circle when, to quote Kheena herself, “collectively got into an issue” with their homeroom advisor. When I asked the four about the "issue," they preferred to keep it under wraps to allow the teacher in question to save face.

Corrine, who is not one of the core members, got into the circle through Kheena. “Naka friends jud mi tungod ni Kheena,” Corrine said. “Kay kami ni Kheena, ka-classmate man mi pag ka-Grade 10.” 

Corrine and Kheena collecting their senior high school yearbooks.

(I became friends with this group because of Kheena. Kheena and I were classmates back in Grade 10.)

Corrine admitted that she and Kheena were not close then, but the connection grew stronger as they texted more often and had “call signs” for each other. And when Corrine became aware that Kheena had this close-knitted circle, Corrine was also keen on knowing that clique. “And I saw na sila, na bisag, peraha ni Rollo, kalub,” she said, “if naa’y mga persons na mu-try ug hurt ni Kheena, bisa’g unintentional or intentional, ready pud sila mu-fight para ni-Kheena, ready sila mu-defend ni Kheena.” 

(And I saw them, even if, like Rollo, crazy, if there are people who’ll try to hurt Kheena, regardless if it’s unintentional or intentional, they’re ready to fight for Kheena, they’re prepared to defend Kheena.)

Act Two: Kheena, The Conjoiner

The friend group consists of personalities that are at odds with each other. Kheena and Corrine are the loud and outgoing members, while Nadine and Niña identified themselves as the more reserved introverts. Rollo goes with the flow, changing how friendly he can be depending on the situation. “In that aspect, I believe that we’re balanced,” Niña said. 

The social equilibrium means quarrels do not often spur out within the group. The few times they brawled were when they talked about ideas and topics that highlighted the differences between their upbringings and beliefs. Nadine noted that one person in the group — neither identified nor was in the call — is most likely to “quarrel” with Kheena about how one should approach specific problems. “Especially Kheena, kay talagang [who really wants] ‘to fight for what’s right,’” Nadine said.

Center: Kheena; Behind and beside Kheena (Left to right): Deni, Lincastin, Nadine, Niña, Rollo.

“They were both stubborn in high school,” Nadine continued but wasn’t sure whether Kheena and the other friend were stubborn during their senior high school years since Nadine wasn’t in the same section as them. Nadine remembered how their arguments would get so heated that Kheena would leave the group chat. “Pero, like, it’s weird because we have a lot of GCs [group chats]. So isa ra ka GC, kung asa sila mugaway, siya [Kheena] mu-leave. Pero the other GCs, di siya mu-leave.”

(But, like, it’s weird because we have a lot of group chats. So in one group chat, where they’re fighting, Kheena leaves. But in the other group chat, she doesn’t leave.)

Act Three: Kheena, The Comforter

Deni was the newest addition to the group, becoming part of it around early 2020. She got acquainted with Kheena when they were blockmates in Grade 11. The two were “occasional seatmates and would have conversations of the usual.” Still, the year later, Deni got to know Kheena more intimately. But even then, Kheena didn’t have her walls put down around Deni. Deni said Kheena acts “guarded” towards those she doesn’t consider her friends. 

Eventually, Kheena became someone Deni could confide in. Deni recalled how the two years of lockdown led to her social inactivity caused by family problems and her mental health struggles. “As a coping mechanism, I have a tendency to shut my left out from everyone. Like, grabe ko ug isolation [I really have myself in isolation],” she shared. The inactivity, Deni noted, delayed her entry to Kheena’s circle of close friends; Deni only came in around February 2022.

From left to right: Deni, Niña, Kheena, Nadine.

When Deni had no one to talk to and was “wallowing in” her “despair,” Kheena was the only one who reached out to Deni and checked on her to see if she was feeling alright. “There was a time when her way of asking me if I was okay, nag-send siya ug TikTok [she sent a TikTok video],” Deni said. “And the person in that TikTok was lip-syncing to Olivia Rodrigo’s “hope ur ok,” and Olivia is one of Kheena’s favourite artists, like ever.”  

“Grabe kayo ku’g hilak adto kay [I really cried over that because] I think that was the first time in quite a while that there was someone I treated like a really, really close friend. Kheena’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life. Like, she really showed genuine care about me. It really made me cry a lot. It really gave me a reason to keep on going.”

Kheena, her friends, and Mikael conducted the interview through Zoom on Thursday, July 14, 2022.

Recommended Song: hope ur ok - Olivia Rodrigo