Bye Bye Baby: Reconnecting With Old/New Friends (Part Two)
From left to right: Kenneth, Hansen, Jasper, Jae Min, Akira.
In front: Leslie with her peace sign.
Mikael: I remember—when I was in the Philippines—you said something I’ve never realized or never really thought of. Apparently, madaldal ko (I’m talkative).
Leslie: Yeah! Haven’t I always told you “you’re so talkative?”
The confirmation perplexed me at first.
It did.
But should I?
I never thought of myself as talkative, nor have I been told that I was either. Not that I can remember anything people say or do anyways. I suppose it could be genetics. My mother and father aren’t very known to be quiet people—and so are my sisters and our dog Rocky.
But even after the sometimes-awkward conversation after my conversation with Kenneth, Carl and Leslie, I still wanted the reconnections. “I’m more excited than ever,” I told Leslie. After years of our friendship waning from the strong winds of change, I wanted to relight that candle once again. I wanted to talk to more people. I wanted to talk to the friends who made me who I was before. I told Leslie that she could invite as many people as she wanted. As long as they wanted to talk, it was fine by me. She then went around her social media to find who we could talk to at that time. Some people weren’t able to because of homework or other obligations. There was, however, a good chunk of Leslie’s class who were keen on leaving their schoolwork for a while to join the Zoom call.
The umbrella couldn’t contain Andy’s drip.
The first person to join the call was Andy Won, who joined from the comforts of his bed in Busan, South Korea, wearing nothing from the waist up. He sported long hair; think of Dora, but oily. He did admit to not showering, FYI. He told me that since it was the weekend, he didn’t have to shower. We talked on a Sunday evening...in Vancouver. In Korea, it was around Monday noon.
I never had any classes with him, but I did get to hang out with him at his uncle’s karaoke bar (Friday’s) and his rather unpleasant-looking personal room at his uncle’s hotel (Hotel California). When I was at Benthel, I did think he looked quite“stand-off-ish.” I could put in “snobbish” and “cold” as well. Perhaps he has RBF: Resting Bitch Face.
Akira Yokirawa soon followed. The last time I saw him, he was the kid version of the Buddha. He was fat, and I don’t think he would deny that fact either. Interestingly enough, I never made fun of his weight. I don’t think I had the courage to. He did Karate, and I didn’t want to meet death in the third grade. When he turned his camera off, the first phrase I said was a simple yet effective “what the fuck.” For a moment, I had to examine the face, the cheeks, and the double chin that was not there anymore. Since I only saw him from the clavicle up, I can’t say that he’s shredded like cheese. What I can tell you is that he shed more weight than my dachshund sheds fur. It was impressive, to say the least. I suppose it’s the “glow up,” as Akira himself would refer to it.
Akira as a model for the Old Navy clothing brand.
The story of Akira Yorikawa is simply interesting. If my memory serves me right, he’s half-Filipino and half-Japanese, giving him a unique bi-national perspective. For instance, he told me that a few summers ago, he worked in Japan; he was making the beds at a hotel (which he cites as the “most bullshit job”), working at a drinks cargo fulfillment centre and at a Zara store. He said that he only had “one or two days of rest out of one month.” Despite the arduous task he was asked to do, he wanted to work even more hours. To borrow Andy’s response: I “respected” the hustle.
Akira’s hustle eventually paid him massive dividends. One, the physical exhaustion and constant movement were certainly helpful in shedding off the weight. He wanted work that would make him sweat.
The hard work also made him a workplace darling of some sort. According to Akira, the general manager of the drinks cargo fulfillment centre took a liking to him. The general manager even told Akira to stay in Japan to continue working for him. In another instance, he said that he could have gotten a golden opportunity at Zara if he didn’t leave. Apparently, an Australian Zara associate was visiting the store. Everyone at the Zara store went into a panic to find Akira since he was the only one who could speak both English and Japanese. He was also making a good amount of money that summer; he was able to get 150 thousand Philippine pesos (which is almost CAD 3900).
Unfortunately, he wasted a significant portion of that money for the sake of “simping.”
The level of “simping” Akira told me about was nothing short of both sad and romantic. Like a true gentleman, he asked a girl’s parents if he could court her. When they agreed, he courted her for around two or three years. He would visit the girl’s house when he had the time or buy her family some groceries if they needed any. If they didn’t, he’d buy them donuts. Once again, to borrow Andy’s words: I “respected” the effort. He tried his best, but he didn’t succeed. After a few months of dating, she broke things off. Sad.
This is the poster for Men in Black if you bought the pirated DVD.
Then came Jan Hansen Tiu, who also sported long hair that could touch his back. The only difference is that he tied it up into a “man bun.” Someone told me that he might become a lawyer, but then remarked that he would “punch the judge.” I suppose anger management issues are seemingly in order; nevertheless, they say he’s got the English chops to pull off wins in a courtroom. The only thing I can remember about Hansen was the day I hung out with him at his house near the school. I had lunch with his family, which started with a Catholic prayer Hansen read off on a calendar.
I don’t know why the ball is on fire…but hey…to each his own.
Jasper Ybañez, Leslie’s on-and-off boyfriend, also jumped into the call. I can’t say that we ever had a close relationship, but I always remembered being in a predicament with him. At Benthel, at least when I was was there, there was a policy where the boys had to cut their hair to a certain length. Occasionally, the principal would roam around the classrooms for a check. She brought some scissors to personally cut the hairs of those who didn’t follow the policy. In one instance, Jasper and I got the principal’s cut. It wasn’t flattering at all. On the backs of our heads were uneven scissor cuts. Looking back, that was perhaps quite embarrassing and disheartening. But in Grade 4, it only made me laugh. He didn’t turn on his camera, which was a buzzkill, to say the least since I didn’t get to see his current hairstyle.
Lee Jae Min, another Korean guy, got in as well. I must say, the first thing that comes to mind when I think about Jae Min was that he kept saying that he knew the nephew/son/grandson of then-governor Gwen Garcia. It must be noted that being associated with that person is like getting your tongue stuck on a light post during an Alaskan winter. At the time, she was suspended by the Philippine government for “abuses of power.” Also, I never understood why he kept mentioning that fact. It’s not like she’s his relative. If I befriended Lady Gaga’s gym trainer, that doesn’t mean I know Lady Gaga. Crazy logic right there.
Despite his weird logic, he is superbly smart. Grades-wise, he’s the smartest person in his class, soaring high in every subject. He’s even running the score when it comes to Filipino, his third language after Korean and English. Back when were classmates in Grade 4, I got jealous of him since he was beating me in the academic rankings every quarter. As a casually cruel “joke,” Francheska, another classmate, and I locked him out of the classroom and repeatedly called him a ‘North Korean.’ Francheska and I laughed quite hard, but to me now, it was just a desperate attempt to get back at someone who worked hard to cover our insecurities.
As more of the gang of misfits came in, the cross-talk only grew. Although the noise was sometimes excruciating, the opportunity to unveil new revelations was presented to me. Only in this call would I have known that Jae Min got rejected by a girl named French. This either happened during a birthday party or at the school Intramurals. Either way, it’s still a depressing story. Akira suggested that we add French to the call, which I assumed was a ploy to make it fucking terrifying for Jae Min. I was in full support of the idea. The sheer awkwardness between the rejector (French) and the rejected (Jae Min) would have been great material for this article.
Jae Min: Ang Crush Ng Bayan
(Jae Min: The Crush of the Country)
Only in this call would I have known that Jae Min was a heartthrob at Benthel. Akira says that the girls from the other end of the school building would run towards Jae Min’s homeroom to see if their “baby” was there. I wasn’t able to verify this information, but if this anecdote is true, it would genuinely surprise me. I’m not saying that Jae Min is ugly or anything of the like, but he’s not Kenneth. Perhaps the fact that he’s a foreigner gave him a leg up when it came to the ladies. The heartthrob status was at a fever pitch during Jae Min’s Grade 10 year. He said that he received a letter from a girl four years his junior. It outlined a confession of love towards Jae Min. He rejected the confession out of the sheer fact that she was still a kid, which is good. Where it gets bad for Jae Min is the way he rejected her. Jae Min told me that he chucked the letter into Kenneth’s bag. Not cool, Jae Min.
The conversation, however, suddenly crumbled when the call descended into low-brow trash-talk and verbal sexual deviancy. They attempted to outmaneuver each other by bragging that they can get “the bitches if they wanted to.” They continued describing some rather obscene imagery only reserved for Playboy articles. Flying around were Filipino swear words, sexist hurls, and the occasional racist slurs about people they have never met. (Spoiler alert: they’ve probably never met a black person. That should be a big clue.) I guess the conversation was an example of what Donald Trump would call “locker room talk.”
Another thing I have observed in their use of the phrase “built different.'' Deducing from their use of the phrase, there are two possible meanings:
Built Different
phrase | ˈbilt - di-f(ə-)rənt
1 : describing a person who has exceeded people’s expectations or has excelled in various fields
2 : describing a person considered to be weird or abnormal
I’m sure they have used the phrase for the purposes of praising someone. Given their rather scornful ways, however, they probably use it with the latter definition in mind. “Built different” is a sharp weapon used for degradation, veiled as a vague statement that could be misrepresented as a compliment.
The call became a big cauldron that was intensely brewing fragile and toxic masculinity. I wanted no part of it. Simply put, the call became absolutely disgusting. For a bunch of boys who wish to become architects, doctors, lawyers, and/or engineers—and have excelled in their advance towards their goals—they have yet to make progress on becoming mature adults who’ll have to pay taxes, maybe raise a family, and die with dignity.
Between the sea of raunchy innuendo and irreverent ideas is me contemplating how I would have become if I stayed at Benthel. It is rather embarrassing to know that if I were to stay, I would have probably become one of them: the guys who would point out that some were “built differently.” It wouldn’t be a stretch to think that I would be saying their phrases too if I stayed. I can only describe my younger self as an “asshole” who never gave others a chance to thrive. The reasoning for this casually cruel former demeanor ranges from my need to be noticed to jealousy to pure anger within me. Regardless of the reason, my past self is someone my current self would never lock eyes with. I was a terrible kid; if I stayed, it would have been a horrible scene.
Now, I realize that moving to Canada forced me to change my ways and turn a new leaf. That’s not to say that I’m now a saint—I’m far from such a figure. The meanness lingers on, but as I grow, I have shaken it off. As I have changed to become gentler, however, my Benthel brethren only turned sharper in their nasty wit. My friends and I have diverged quite far away. It’s rather disappointing, but it would be best if I keep the distance as it was before I recently reached out to them.
When the conversation between me and Akira, Jae Min, Hansen, Jasper, and Andy went past its first hour, I looked through my emails to see if anything important was sent to me. Physically, I was there in my room. Mentally, I left to take a washroom break.
Recommended Song: Bye Bye Baby (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) - Taylor Swift